things to ponder at 3am

before 3am hold in your stomach
the definite truth:
americans aren’t stupid
aren’t angry
 
before 3am think
this can’t be it
 
after 3am wake up
check your phone 
shit
go back to sleep
 
after 3am walk
into work with heavy feet
chill in bones
don’t be mad at these white people
 
walk into the closet and cry
in less than an hour
27 eyes will look to you
for guidance 

after 3am think
what will you tell them
this is poetry 
put the english degree to use
stifle the white voice beside you
 
not all white people are evil
your best friend is white
she didn’t vote trump
 
after 3am yell
fuck emotional constancy
 
after 3am 
you’re still scared
the world keeps spinning
nothing and everything changed

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